11 Of The Most Awkward Pregnancy Photos Ever

People procrastinate in different ways. Some people put off doing what they are supposed to be doing by watching cat videos on YouTube. Some people mindlessly scroll through their Facebook feed to see what their friends and high school classmates have been doing, and others do the same with celebrities on Twitter. Lately, we have been filling our procrastination quota by looking at awkward pregnancy photos. Sure, it’s a strange way to put off doing what needs to be done, but once you get started you find that people’s ideas of what makes a clever, interesting, or otherwise appropriate pregnancy photo can be nothing short of absurd. So if you’re ready to wile away those last ten minutes before your lunch break, join us in celebrating these amazingly awkward pregnancy photos.

1. Shot from Many Angles

From World Wide Interweb

This photo is awkward because on first glance it is almost completely indecipherable. It looks like a pregnant woman in front of a flesh-coloured beach ball. Why the photographer felt it necessary superimpose a semi-okay photo of a pregnant woman on top of not one, but two, profile views of her distended belly, complete with teeny tiny underwear, is beyond us.

2. Pregnant Playboy Bunny

From World Wide Interweb

Pregnancy photos are a relatively new idea. People of, ahem, ‘a certain age’ don’t have the luxury of seeing what our mothers looked like when they were pregnant. Maybe it’s just us, but when we think about what the ideal pregnancy photo of our mother would look like, it shows her as being sweet, demure, feminine, and overall very motherly. Again, this could just be us, but we don’t want to think of our pregnant mothers as sexy Playboy bunnies, and we certainly don’t want to picture her hiking one leg up on top of a man’s (presumably our father’s) shoulder whilst sporting sequined bunny ears, sequined wrist cuffs and a sequined bowtie.

3. F the Lot of You

From World Wide Interweb

There something quite horrifying about this photo. Perhaps it’s that it’s the first time we’ve ever felt intimidated by looking at a pregnancy photo. Yes, the father flipping the bird with both hands while multitasking and covering up the mother’s breasts isn’t a good start, but somehow his ridiculous hand actions are offset by slightly goofy, sweet look on his face. It’s the look on the mother’s face that’s really got us worried.

4. Staring Down the Barrel

From World Wide Interweb

Did we say that we felt a little intimidated by the photo in Number 3 above? Move over Number 3, as we have a winner in Number 4. We’re assuming that the narrative behind the photo is that the father will shoot you point-blank if you even think about going anywhere near his pregnant partner and her stretchmarks, but he also looks almost ready to strangle the pregnant woman with his other hand. She does seem pretty smug about the whole thing though, so at least they’re in this together.

5. The Money Shot

From World Wide Interweb

We don’t know if this image has been Photoshopped onto the pregnant woman’s belly after the original photo was taken, or if somehow she managed to find someone to paint this image directly onto her belly, but either way what was obviously intended to be artistic and sweet has come out as horrifying. ‘Come out’ are the operative words, because this photo looks like the woman is very calmly giving birth right through her navel and that the newborn is about to go hurtling towards the camera. Scary stuff.

6. Slam Dunk

From Parenting

Obviously Dad got a real kick out of this one, and while we can’t see the face of the mother-to-be, her body language suggests that she is ambivalent at best and seething at worst.

7. Crossing the Line

From Parenting

Even though some women choose to go this way, and it can sometimes be an effective photography method, there is no need for the mother-to-be to be completely nude during a pregnancy photo session. That being said, there is absolutely never any need for the father to be nude at any time during a pregnancy photo session. Ever. Not only has this couple opted to go as nude as nude can be, their choice of body positioning couldn’t have been worse. In terms of embarrassing your future children, this photo would have to be the pick of the bunch.

8. A Lesson in Birth Control

From I did a Funny

Oh nonono. You’re pregnant, we get it. We don’t need to know how it happened.

9. Creepy

From I did a Funny

This photo just gives us the creeps. Whoever thought this would be a clever creative idea should have an appointment with a professional as soon as possible. The combination of the dotted line, sharp scissors and the smudged eye makeup – not to mention that this all takes place in the shower – has all the hallmarks of a B-grade horror film. Shudder.

10. Place of Conception

From I did a Funny

A word of advice for those getting ready for their own pregnancy photo shoot: Did you know that you don’t have to have the pregnancy photo shoot at the exact place where the baby was conceived? Bonus tip: you don’t need to wait until the woman is in labour before taking the photo. Anytime in the preceding nine months is just fine.

11. Inside Joke

From Pregnant Chicken

We’re sure this woman had a very good reason for including a watermelon and a handgun in her pregnancy photo. The question is: is she even pregnant? Or is this just a regular photo: perhaps for her NRA profile picture?

If you are pregnant (congratulations!) we’ve probably scared you little with these 11 pregnancy announcement shockers. To balance the scales, check out these amazing pregnancy photos to celebrate your new arrival in style. And once you have the perfect pregnancy photo don’t forget to immortalise the memory on canvas.