The Best In Food Porn Part 1: Wedding Cakes

I’m getting married in June. This means I’m spending a lot of time contemplating what wedding cake to get. This practice is making me crave all sorts of untoward treats. No wonder they call it ‘food porn’.

Now if I had my way, given my love of icecream and chocolate, I’d get an icecream and chocolate cake.

As I have Italian heritage (my mother is Sicilian), my reception is going to be Italian themed. You’d think a gelato icecream would be perfect, right?

Wrong!

Apparently you’re ‘not allowed’ to have icecream cakes as wedding cakes because of the melting issue. Additionally, despite it being an entirely delicious dessert that everyone would unreservedly gobble up, it’s not photogenic enough.

Humph. Weddings and their rules …

Choosing a wedding cake is such a personal thing. Budget aside, you have to consider theme, colour, size, taste and topple factor. Oh and melt factor too … apparently.

And if you’re looking to ensure your wedding photographer is a happy photographer (and you’re pleased with the results), getting something that will look beautiful to include in a photobook, on a canvas print or collage print is vital as well.

While there are so many talented confectioners selling their wedding cake making services, it’s important to choose someone who’s got a good portfolio behind them – one that you can view at your leisure. Finding someone via a referral is even better. However, if you’re after a croquembouche and the person who referred you had a traditional fruit cake, keep in mind that talents and specialties differ from confectioner to confectioner.

Speaking of traditional fruit cakes, as someone who’s attended 20 plus weddings in the last 25 years, one of the areas we, as a society, have most moved to in the right direction is the shift away from fruit cake and towards a variety of tasty classic sponge and cream flavours – vanilla, chocolate, red velvet etc.

Today, a carefully iced sponge cake can match a traditional fruit cake in its appearance of tradition. The bonus is that’s it’s also a crowdpleaser. It’s sweeter, but less rich and there will be fewer leftovers. People will actually eat it! The only shortfall is that, while an iced fruit cake might last for years in the freezer, its contemporary sponge counterpart will only last for a few months. That said, when it comes to cryogenics, I reckon that sugarpaste icing could very well outlive us all, I reckon (yes, I am exaggerating).

Traditional white wedding cakes convey a sense of beauty, romance and femininity – all the ingredients for a fairytale wedding. Cast your eyes on these treasures.

Some of the larger, more extravagant cakes express love in ways that more humble lovers should never even begin to try understand. Try these on for size!

That all said, you don’t need to rob a bank (or sacrifice that honeymoon shopping budget!) to offer something both gorgeous and delicious that your guests won’t be too afraid to eat.

A profiterole cake or croquembouche is a case in point. What’s the difference between a profiterole tower and a croquembouche? The good news is, nothing! A croquembouche is, in fact, a fancy French name for profiterole tower. Profiteroles are essentially French ‘cream puffs’ and a croquembouche is a tower of ‘cream puffs’! Mmmmmm cream puffs …

If you’re concerned about topple factor, the croquembouche is possibly not the right choice for you. I have been to a wedding where the croquembouche toppled and it’s not a pretty sight. There is both art and science to perfecting a croquembouche, so you really need a Masterchef to make it happen.

Personally, I am loving the cupcake craze at the moment. Cupcakes are not my mother’s favourite dessert, so she’s really not supportive of the idea. However, I find the more modern leanings towards wedding cupcakes and wedding cake pops are an absolute delight. They provide an opportunity for a bride and groom’s unique characters to shine and are presented with such exquisite detailing.

In case you think my own denial of icecream cake has seen me focus only on the traditional, an exposé on food porn would not be complete without this kinky number.

Bon appétit everyone! May your own wedding cake be delicious and plentiful – like your lives together. Oh – and don’t try to convince me that it’s my day so I ought to have my icecream cake and eat it too – my mother will kill me!